Mind the Gap! Navigating and Surviving the London Tube System

Navigating London public transportation can be a daunting task for the uninitiated.  One of the brilliant things about London is the extensive network of public transportation that can cheaply and easily deliver you to destinations all over the city.  The London Underground – which is playfully referred to as “the tube” – tends to be the most well known of the various transport systems.  Don’t be put off by the complexity of the system, the trains access all areas of London and in most cases are cheaper and faster than taking a cab.  With these tips, even newbies will soon be navigating their way through London like a pro.

Vigilance is Rewarded

Some of the trains are fantastic - they nicely announce every stop, they let you know what connecting lines come into each station and they inform you if some of the doors won't be opening (which usually effects the first two sets and last two sets of doors when long trains enter short underground stations).  Other trains are, well, silent.  A little bit of vigilance will go along way towards making sure you don't miss your station and have to waste time retracing your steps.

Additionally, don't make the assumption that just because you plan to stay out late that the trains will still be running.  Avoid an unpleasant late night surprise and know when the last train will be leaving on your line.  Armed with this knowledge, you can either cut your evening short or be sure to have enough cash on hand for a cab.


Maps are not to Scale

The secret that no one mentions is that the Underground maps are not to scale.  The first incarnation of the modern London Underground map was designed by Harry Beck in 1931.   Beck straightened the railroad lines and adjusted the position of stations to limit crowding on the map and maximize its ease of use.  This trend has continued to the present date, and while the map is now very user friendly, it can be misleading at times.  Traveling from Bank to Mansion House?  Don't take the Central Line to the Circle Line - just walk down the block and you are there.  Fancy a trip from Regents Park to Great Portland Street?  Forget riding the Bakerloo to the Metropolitan, you are practically right there already.  The lesson here - just because you can take the tube doesn't mean that you have to.

Personal Space is Scarce

Be prepared to get up close and personal with your fellow commuters on the Tube.  Trains can often be packed to the brim (take my advice, do whatever you can to avoid the Jubilee line at rush hour). People can, and will, look over your shoulder to see the games you are playing on your phone, or to share the novel you are reading. As such, Tube rides are inopportune times to read or write dirty text messages or death threats. It is best to leave these kinds of tasks until you have a little more elbow room.  Besides, it’s best to keep your plan to take over the world a secret until you are ready for your big reveal.

Also, make sure to keep an eye on your belongings.  Pickpockets can and will steal from those who are not paying attention.  This is especially true during the busy periods.  When you have strangers pressed up against you on all sides, it can be tricky to identify if someone’s hands begin to wander towards the expensive smart phone hanging out of your pocket.

Never Eat Soggy Waffles

Considering all of the years I spent in school, there are very few things that I learned and still put into use on a frequent basis.  One is a little song I learned in first grade that helps me remember how to spell “because”.  The other is Never Eat Soggy Waffles.  Besides being excellent gastronomic advice, this is a mnemonic school children are taught to remember to what each point on a compass refers (North, East, South and West).  I find that using this tool to determine the direction I'm traveling is a huge help for when I get to a crowded intersection that splits off to the East and Westbound trains.  I never want to be the inconsiderate doofus that is blocking traffic while they try to consult their map to determine which direction they need to go.

Still intimidated?  Try using an App to map out your journey.  My personal favorite is Tube Deluxe and my be the best 99 cents I've ever spent.

For more information on the London Underground, ticket prices and train schedules, see TLF.gov.uk.

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The House that Ruth Built

Snuggly wrapped in my warm afghan, I listened to the hollow gurgling in my chest. Sneezing, I readjusted, laying my head on a pillow, moving the TV into my line of site. The final game of the Yankees’ season is about to begin. In the chair next to me, my boyfriend digs in. Preparing himself for the game that would determine whether or not the blue bombers would win their division. Closing my eyes against the glare of the morning sun, I let my mind wander to the only game I had attended at the old Yankee stadium.

It had rained that day, mixing the daily heat with a layer of humidity that clung to your clothes. The stadium gates were scheduled to open at 12:30, so in his typical baseball-obsessed fashion, my boyfriend had ensured our arrival to be no later than an hour before noon. When a downpour began shortly thereafter, we couldn’t retreat into the stadium. Instead we donned cheap ponchos in an effort to stay dry. I wore pink and he sported green as we crowded underneath the subway tracks outside of the house that Ruth built, listening to the babble of excited voices and the rumbling of the passing trains.

My eyes had raced to take in every detail, to trace the path of the legends into their home field. Reading his words on the wall, I felt a wave of pride and camaraderie swell within me. Like Joe DiMaggio, I too had wanted to thank the good lord for making me a Yankee. Faith in the team had given me a reason for endless hope. At the game in New York, I finally had the opportunity to pay homage to the great ones entombed in Monument Park.

My head throbbed as my body succumbed to a series of coughs. I caught my breath, cursing the cold that was denying a lifelong nose breather the ability to inhale comfortably. “No!” groaned my partner, his head in his hands. The Yankees overthrew the ball again, racking up an error and letting the opposition place another runner in scoring position.

Today’s game is decidedly less glamorous, held in Boston, the home of our eternal rivals. A dozen perfect opportunities to dominate have been presented and tossed aside like yesterday’s newspaper. The boys in blue are now behind but the bases are loaded. Silently crossing my fingers, I hold my breath along with thousands of other believers as the slugger saunters to the plate.